Posts Tagged With: Writers

The Vulnerable Author

When I decided to self-publish I felt the excitement of holding that very first book in my hand.  It was real, and really happening.  It was much like giving birth when you’re amazed something you’ve known to happen to others could actually happen to you.  It wasn’t just a dream anymore.

The awe-struck feeling didn’t last long enough before another feeling slowly crept in.  It was the awareness that others would now know who you are and what you had done.  That set in a little fear of others judging you based on the work you did.  What if no one liked it?  What if it was really bad and only you thought it was good?  The nagging inner voice of doubt has struck.

I begged for others whom I trusted to read my work and assure me I hadn’t failed in my attempt.  It’s taken two years and more unresponsive or noncommittal friends and family than genuinely responsive, then a few very good reviews before the slow process of believing in myself began.  Even though I now accept I can write well and many will like it, the occasional nagging inner voice of doubt lingers.  I wonder if its good enough?  I think it will be a continuous up and down battle to close off that voice with each new publication.

As more and more strangers report good things it gets easier, but it’s not like the eleven books, with a total of seventeen publications (some just ebooks), in two years brought in a flood of fans.  At least not ones who actually buy the books.  Few Indie authors experience that.  It’s the gifts and free giveaways that you hope will feed your doubts with good reviews, but never materialize that really disappoint.  We are such a vulnerable lot, and very egocentric when it comes to these feelings.

We support each other with likes and votes and sharing posts, with occasional purchases, and sometimes reviews, but it’s still a difficult road to travel down.  We’re mostly alone.  It’s the nature of our craft.  Continuing to immerse ourselves in imaginary places with imaginary people doing imaginary things keeps us busy.  If we stay busy maybe the fear won’t come, maybe the doubt will stay away and maybe even a few books will sell.  Of those maybe a few reviews will materialize to help erase any remaining doubt.

All of us go through this to some degree.  HERE is another blog with steps to follow to overcome some of these feelings of vulnerability and help you keep on keeping on so no one is shattered by disappointing comments or downright meanness.  Become strong because the naysayers are out there and when things begin to look good they could strike you down.  Be prepared.  Become strong.  Then it won’t matter if others don’t approve.  Enough will.


Categories: About Writing, Random Thoughts to Share, Reviews, Self-Publishing, The Trolls Wars | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

How One Thing Leads To Another for a trilogy or series can be tough. For my trilogy every book is titled Where the Horses Run, but with Book I, II, & III noted, and each having their own subtitle–Mass Extinction, Sacred Hills and Ciphers. Since I started it that way, I’ve kept it and only refer to it as the Horses trilogy (H1, H2 & H3), though it’s definitely about more than the vanishing horses. And it’s certainly about more than Elle, the main character, though she’s set up as the books’ writer basing it on her journal notes. It’s been years in the making and a very complex work to keep track of. Hope I never do it again.

To make it more complicated it has a prequel with a totally different name, because it can be a read-alone book. There were parts of the book with past-history back story that had to go somewhere, right? I do have a sequel planned with a different title and, like the prequel, only to be listed as the sequel. I’ll try to make it a read-alone also though it will have some the same characters.  Anyone reading H3 will wonder what the world is like after….so one last story, a thriller with Tommy as MC.

Then there’s the spin-offs. Could I make it any more complicated for myself?  The first is with all the Native American parts of the Horses trilogy put into a separate book from their points of view–tricky work. I was told it was the best part of the Horses stories and should have its own book, so I’m polishing it now as I also do my semi-final edit on Book II — quite a challenge.

The other spin-off is a children’s series, each subtitled The Secrets of Meshyah’s World, but with different titles to each. After the same title on three with similar covers, I liked doing it this way better.  I only have the first out, so far–Tree & Sky.  But  the real Horses series spin-off — of how everything gets set up in Meshyah’s World — is yet  another book. It’s actually the book Meshyah’s story comes from and leads to. You see there will be a journal sent back in time from Meshyah’s World (set in a very different future) to the world of the Horses series and found by secondary Horses series characters who will then be major characters in the new book.  Did you get that?  Hope so.  It’s really been fun to write. And since this involves current Native Americans and the reservation, I have another children’s story  that occurs in the same time period and is affected by the things that happen in the world as they are told in Where the Horses Run.

When I have a character, or characters, whom I like I want to develop them further. Writing them in new stories helped with the character(s) development as I wrote them in the Horses series.  When the write-up sounds good enough, they become new book ideas…spin-offs.

They have all been fun to start, set up, make bookcovers for, and get copyrights on, but if you don’t think having a city’s worth of characters over a span of hundreds of years in your head is easy to keep track of, think again.

You know, I actually only have two books, and two children’s books planned (plus one already done with no distribution plans to date) that are not connected to this first trilogy. Amazing how one idea leads to another. It makes being a writer lots of fun and very interesting, even when it’s hard work and a bit (Did I really say ‘a bit’?) mind boggling.


Categories: About My Books, About Writing, Self-Publishing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Influence of Words

Writer Wordart

Writer Wordart (Photo credit: MarkGregory007)

(First posted pm my Goodreads Blog on September 28,2012 — some editing done)

I have just added several books to my Goodreads Author’s page “read” list. Some I can no longer remember, but I know the titles and the author names. Reading such Sci-Fi/Fantasy began at a young age for me.
After my dad finished a book he handed it to me. “Try it,” he said.
When I finished I handed it back to him and asked for another. I was smitten. I was probably between twelve and fourteen. I read continually until college.  And I always remained a Star Trek fan (though not fanatic) and continually watched and hoped for good Sci-Fi TV shows or movies.  Good ones are hard to come by.
Later, when married with a small child, I bought some books, but discovered many in the library. I followed the authors. Those authors you see on my reading list do date me. Many are now gone. And not all of their books read by me are listed. It’s a very long list to look through in Listopia.
I found many authors whose names I recognized, but I can’t remember which of their books I read. Many, many titles are familiar as well, but I can’t be sure if they were read or recognizable because they are well-known.
Regardless, all have left their mark. Reading such stories opened my mind to wondrous things. It developed my imagination and made me believe in things one could only dream of. Even in my darkest moments I have a hope that keeps me going. I have to attribute that to the visions these writers’ created during an era when the bomb was expected to drop on us any day.
Writers of this genre, especially the social sci-fi/fantasy, have often been prophets whose visions have become real. Foretelling a future unimaginable by the average person is certainly the gift of a visionary. We should all be so aware and open-minded.  These writers also have some of the best book covers and titles ever.
I want to thank them, here and now, for helping to mold my mental outlook and opening my inner vision to things that might be. It’s a little frightening to think I could have been otherwise without them.

It was my dad who had the vision and imagination he passed on to me. He, also, had read such works since young. His mother, my grandmother, didn’t understand his interest in such things that can’t be real, but he and I understood. The world of tomorrow is what he reached for, and I still do.

With such influence it was only natural I would write an apocalyptic trilogy, the first book now published. A prequel is started and, hopefully, a sequel will get done eventually.  I have a lot started on my To Write list.
I envisioned a different kind of rapture, and a more hopeful end for some, with a real future. Others may not fare so well when our Earth Mother is stricken and they are caught unprepared.  And there is help for many, and a message, if heeded.  It doesn’t fit into the current socially acceptable scheme of things.
It’s a long story, and difficult to edit, but I want it to mean something for those with hope and vision.
Consider it when you choose your next read. I would be honored to be part of the galaxy such writers who influenced me continue to live in.

Categories: Random Thoughts to Share, Recommendations | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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